Narrative writing

Is class we have just started learning again about Narrative writing. We had to write a story about anything with some rules. Then we had to check with each other if it was good and give feedback.

The rules:
Language features (idiom metaphor etc)
Use paragraphs 
Your character has to speak 

Dingo and the explosion 

 As I the almighty Dingo the Dino looked up from my food a face of fear popped onto my face as I screamed out
 “Ahh”.
 she screamed as she saw the meteor flew right at her. Jimi the Jinzhousaurus was running up to everyone saying 
 “the end is here”. 

 I ran around looking for a shelter that would protect me from the gigantic burning rock. Then I looked at a cave and thought to myself that if I go in deep enough I will and barricade the entrance I might just stand a chance. When I started to barricade it slowly got darker and darker until there was just a little hole With a missing rock. 

 As I looked out I saw that the meteor was about to hit. So I plugged the missing hole and ran down as far as I could. While I was about half way down I heard a Thundering BOOM and CRASH.

 I went up the cave slowly and took the little rock out and looked out there. No one was there. I went and unplugged the entrance I looked around. It was like a wasteland out here. I sobbed and screamed out 
 “Why did this happen”. 
 I walked around looking for anyone. I finally found some water and drank some. I was so sad that I just feel into the water not caring at all. But when I got up I saw something in the distance. I ran and to my surprise it was a human and he was all alone. So I go up to him, he smiles at me and say 
 “Hi”
 “Hi” 
I say back The human freaks me out he then asks for my name, I say 
“Dingo the dino”. 
As we talk, we get to know each other and I found out that his name was jackson. So we go and live together until we are really old and we die. 

(my feedback)

 I like how you included the meteor I love how you made the story really funny Next time you could add the human talking

Spongebob descriptive writing

In class we first started our descriptive writing with being in buddies and write about anyone that we wanted to. Me and my buddie choose spongebob. In this story we had to add types of speech like similes or personification and more.






 He is as yellow as the sun. It's The Yellow Sponge That can squeeze all the way down and also has mini pits in him. He is a Magical Sponge that can’t get hurt. His Signature is the unbelievable SPONGEBOB DUN DUN DUHHHH!!!!! 

Spongebob is a crack up sponge Just like a comedian. His finest friends are patrick and squidward but squidward is always going BLAH BLAH BLAH. He works at the Krusty krab in Bikini Bottom. And of course no one can forget the almighty gary the snail. He is also outstanding at making Krabby patties.

 He is Dazzling yellow. Where's a Magnificent suit and a Foolproof tie. Also always has his Unique Spatula, and he also wears black Glossy shoes that are magical. He is also very short and square Shaped. He wears the same clothes every single day.

 SpongeBob has a little pickle with Plankton Because he annoys Spongebob for the Unknown Formula. He also sometimes has a predicament with the flying dutchman who is a ghost pirate and also king neptune who is the emperor of the ocean and shoots lasers with his trident that go BANG!!!. 

In conclusion spongebob is an insane magical sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea. He is also a horrible civilon in Bikini Bottom but makes the Supreme Krabby Patties to make up for it. He is a Sponge that squeezes and splashes everywhere.

Descriptive writing

In class we have been going over descriptive writing  and so we had to describe these things in this slide show but I haven't finished it yet so there will be some slides blank.

The climber

In room 5 we have been learning about the five senses in writing and going back to descriptive writing. We had a prompt and we had to write a descriptive piece of writing but for every paragraph we had to use the 5 senses. See if you can find them 

What was hard: using the 5 senses because I haven't used them in ages. 
What was easy: Being a bit descriptive. 
What I need to work on: Linking in to every paragraph


  We were finally there. We looked around at the huge town and nourishing forests. My friend sat there and had a rest while I was looking around with my hands up high like I have achieved a life goal. I had another look around and saw a stream of water sparkling like diamonds and full of all sorts underwater wildlife but my favorite was the turtles. Everything looked amazing from up here, it was like heaven.


 We stood up and started walking back down. While we were walking down I could feel in the afternoon breeze. After a while it started to get colder and colder until it was freezing. My friend had gone really pale and was starting to shiver. I grabbed on to her and we ran down the mountain BANG. 

 We fell down and instead of the taste of victory it was the taste of grossness and rock but the rock did kind of taste like rock salt so I wasn't really bothered about that but everything else tasted horrible. It was like puking and then eating your puke. 

We got up and got frightened by the wolves howling. We were walking again but we here a bark and then several barks. Then it went dead silent. We stopped and looked around and for some reason my friend started sniffing and said “ they're close but we still need to run”. We ran away and for some reason instead of looking back my friend kept on trying to smell them out instead of looking I guess that’s just how she does that. Suddenly she told me to watch out, I looked in front of me CHOMP.

Adam The avacado

This is our second time working together on a collabritive writing and it is amazing because this time it is a picture book And we worked super hard on it. This was really fun because we all had a part to do. I was working with Fria and Greer.

Things that Were hard: Not trying to just do this my way and let the others have a go

Things that were easy. making the writing go weird